The whole thing started when I was having tea with Betty in the shed. She came out there with me today because she was afraid to be left alone with Carmelle and Tubby Washington after the number they did on her over the weekend. She is still a bit traumatized but doing better all the time.
I was giving Betty a little pep talk reminding her about how great her life is. I said, “Look Betty don’t let your being turned into an elephant ruin your whole life. You have a lot going for you.” I then proceeded to tell her all of the amazing things for which she can be thankful. She is warm; she is kind; she is helpful; she is a great listener. I pointed out how her new face and hairdo make her look so happy and alive. The list went on and on.
Within a few minutes the cloud was lifted from Betty and you could see she was really starting to feel better. I on the other hand started feeling like a complete shmuck! How had Betty’s life turned out so well? She is a teapot! When I compare my life to Betty’s I fall so short. And I repeat, she is a teapot!
When this realization hit me I felt so vulnerable and ashamed. I did the only thing I could think of in this situation. I listened to Brene Brown. While helpful in getting me out of my funk, I am not sure the end result has done anything to improve my life. It gave me a false sense of confidence that led to some bad decisions.
I came across this Brene Brown quote “Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?" Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?” It seemed like good advice, but maybe I didn’t apply it right. Maybe there is a time to consider what other people will think. Maybe that threat of social pressure sometimes keeps us from making stupid mistakes, like the one I made today.
For days I’ve wanted to cut my own hair but at about the time this thought first occurred to me, people started sharing photos of botched do it yourself haircuts. I kept thinking, “People will judge me if I cut my own hair.” I was safe as long as I was thinking this way.
After I reading Brene Brown’s quote I said, “Maybe I should reframe this to think, How can I improve?” I thought giving myself some bangs would be improvement. It wasn’t. People will judge me harshly for the actions I took today. Sure my hair will grow back eventually, but I have a date with Robin later this week. What is he going to think?
I’m going to have to reconsider what outfit to wear for my next date with Robin, and will now need to include a hat. So far the only hats I have found are my bike helmet and some tuques. At first I couldn’t even find the tuques because I had wrapped them all for next Christmas.
Look how pretty Betty looks. The judgmental look on Carmelle’s face pretty much sums up how my haircut went. How did my life get so messed up?
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